Setting Boundaries VS. Being Mean

How many times have you ignored your boundaries and accepted being treated with less respect than you deserved because you were afraid of confrontation? How many times did you put someone else’s needs first because you didn’t want to upset them by simply being honest about what you really wanted?

An important part of self-love, self-development, and inner growth is being able to set clear boundaries with the people around us. It’s integral for our own well-being so that we can make sure our energy and time are being invested in the right places. Setting healthy boundaries is also key for manifesting because it directly impacts our self-worth.

Setting clear boundaries can look like this:

•Letting go of people in your life who drain your energy or who always make you feel disrespected.

•Saying no to a dinner or a party that you just don’t want to go to.

•Communicating with your partner and letting them know what behavior you will and won’t accept in a relationship.

•Making the decision to not always drop everything you are doing and give advice to your friends the second they call you with a dilemma.

The difference between being mean vs setting boundaries:

Being mean is an intention that is directed toward hurting, humiliating, or deliberately offending another person. When you set clear boundaries, your intention is simply to be the best version of yourself. When your intention is clear, you can be sure you are doing the right thing.

When you set boundaries, remember that delivery is everything. I think the sweet spot is to be gentle enough that you avoid the other person becoming defensive, but assertive enough that you can feel like your message is being heard.

Ultimately, the way that anyone responds to a boundary you have set says more about them than it does about you. In most cases, people will understand and respect them and it will be a seamless transition. However, if anyone does try to make it difficult for you, know that is simply a reflection of how much they value you.

Commit to healthy boundaries; this can include relationships with family friends and your partner. Be clear in your intention, so that they know what you want and need from the relationship and vice versa. By doing this, you give yourself the respect you deserve.

Follow Elaine Rittman on all her social media accounts. Read more of Elaine’s articles here on Afterbreak Magazine.