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feeling your feelings

Most of us have at some point been broken, confused and shattered into pieces. We have had those incomprehensible moments when we felt like our world was spinning and our only escape was for the earth to swallow us into one enormous, dark hole for all eternity. I have found myself in that dark hole more times than I can count. Where healing seemed almost impossible.

Amid that darkness and hopelessness, I taught myself to pick up the pieces and seek healing. Although momentarily dimed, trust me there is a light.

Feeling is not a weakness

Healing is a process. It takes time, energy and most importantly belief. It requires you to truly commit and strive to be whole. I have always thought that healing meant remaining strong and moving past my pain. Hence, I mastered the art of drinking my problems away or sliding them under the rug and pretending they never existed. I did this for years. Until I realized that not only was I not healing, evidently I was even more broken than before.

Healing comes through feeling

Here is the real tea served hot, dark and strong. If you want to heal, you need to feel. You need to get in touch with your feelings and allow yourself to express them entirely. I mean pillow soaked in tears, puffy eyes, heart beating, body shivering type of feel. If you are going to learn to pick up the pieces you need to acknowledge that something has been broken. And just like a broken teapot glued together, you will have marks, scars and it certainly won’t be cute. Picking up the pieces does not always mean a revival to perfection, but rather an acceptance of your flawed self.

Take it easy

Despite how flawed you are you can become whole once you learn to pick up the pieces. Understand that you have been broken, hurt, disappointed and the world has not been kind to you. Work towards gradually picking up the pieces and know that broken things can be whole again. Be calm and be gentle with yourself and take breaks. It is not a race to be won, but a journey to be processed. Practice self-care, mindfulness and meditation.

Broken not destroyed

Healing is a deeply personal act. Even though friends, relatives, significant others and professionals go a long way in helping you heal. Ultimately, the work is up to you and the decision is your own. However, do not confuse this with locking yourself in a dark room for weeks in the company of your negative thoughts. Speak out and see someone. Don’t erroneously believe you have to do all the work on your own. You are not alone. You most likely did not break those pieces by yourself, so don’t feel the need to pick them all up on your own. Accept support, get the right help and share your experience when it feels right.

The road to healing will not be easy

My healing process was rough. The road was not always straight. It had twists and turns and bumps and humps. Take it easy on yourself and don’t get indoctrinated into the false ideologies of “you must kutut”, or listen to the harsh whispers of “you are not strong enough”. There are pieces shattered all over, thus you may have to look twice to find a few hidden pieces. Do not rush into picking up the pieces, you might just cut yourself and bleed all over again.

We are all broken in different ways. Consequently, it only makes sense that we heal in different ways. Just like you will not glue the pieces of a teapot with the same tenacity and order as those of a plate, consequently you cannot generalize one healing method or duration.  What matters is that you understand how imperative allowing yourself to heal is. It should never be at the mercy of things that matter least.

Believe that healing is possible.Your pain and suffering have not reduced your worth, on the contrary It’s made you one of a kind. Now go out there and feel, heal and know that your soul, body and mind are all still in demand. You got this!

Uasora Kamusuvise

Easy-going human, lover of good music, good vibes and good souls ?

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About Afterbreak Magazine

Afterbreak Magazine is a Namibian digital youth magazine that presently leads in educating, empowering and entertaining young Namibian people, with the aim of building a community of growth, a sense of responsibility and a shared identity.

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February 2022