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As hard as it may be to say goodbye to so many years, tears and giggles, it’s time to accept the fact that the friendship has outgrown you. Loosing a best friend is not easy, but not all friendships were meant to last a lifetime. Here are the signs that will make it clear as day that it’s about time you let go.

Does it still feel genuine?

Friendships are not suppose to be draining. Google Image

After every interaction, do you walk away feeling like you’ve gained something? If your friend seems to only be blowing up your phone when they need to vent to you, or ask for a favour, that’s a red flag. When its starts to feel like you are only useful when something goes wrong in their life, you should take a step back and re-evaluate the relationship.

Can you be yourself?

You should feel free to be free. Image from Pinterest

Can you still talk to them about anything and everything? Would you still feel comfortable to embarrass yourself in front of them? If they start to blend into your background and you can’t run to them to talk about your big achievement, the weird dream you had or what you’ve been going through lately, then it might be time to check the connection you once had.

Are you holding each other back?

Friends support friends. Image from Pinterest

Supporting a friend doesn’t always mean agree with their every vision of the future. But it does mean telling them if it’s realistic, being honest with them and, showing them support. If your friends don’t show you support while you’re chasing the bag, then the friendship might be busy loosing its strength.

Your friends are one of your biggest support groups in life, so you have to make sure that they are your pillars through it all. Imagine building an empire with no one by your side to pick you up when you fall. Choose your pillars wisely!


Who is reaching out to who? Google Image

It’s normal to make new friends along the way, but are they replacing your old friends? If your friends don’t reach out to you anymore, either to invite you out, simply catch up or congratulate you on something you achieved, then once again, its time to re-evaluate that relationship.

But this isn’t just one-sided. Do you still invite them out and send them messages to find out how it’s going? Do you make sure to involve them in what’s happening in your life? Have you done all you can and still feel like it’s a chore just to start a conversation? If you can’t simply just send a random text to start a conversation with them and instead have to rehearse before pressing send, I SEE RED FLAGS!


Let them go
Growing up and growing apart, let go. Google Image

I haven’t spoken to my best friend in 6 months and the fact that it is starting to feel normal is my red flag to you. When you both seem to be doing your own thing in life, the weekly calls turn into one call every few months, and next thing you know, you’ve both reached milestones that the other doesn’t even know about… It’s safe to say you should let go and move on.

One of life’s challenging realizations is that sometimes you outgrow your friends

Steve Maraboli

Let them go so that you may grow! Remove yourself and allow them to be who they need to be. And it will work both ways. Remember, it’s okay to say goodbye. The end is always an introduction to something new.

Follow @prettywithwords to read more of my stories.

Patricia Coetzee

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About Afterbreak Magazine

Afterbreak Magazine is a Namibian digital youth magazine that presently leads in educating, empowering and entertaining young Namibian people, with the aim of building a community of growth, a sense of responsibility and a shared identity.

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May 2022